Why I Believe in Asking for Help
Recently, I asked my 18-year-old son Brandon to install a floating shelf in our home, and he eagerly accepted. He read the instructions and tried to install it, but his first attempt failed. Like any resourceful teenager, his next tactic was to search YouTube for instructional videos, but that didn’t yield the desired result either. Ultimately, I offered to take him to the hardware store, where they were kind enough to give him some new parts and a dose of confidence. This obstacle was a minor one for him, but inevitably, we all face situations that are difficult to work through alone. And in these instances, one of the most powerful things we can do is ask for help.
For me, asking for help means taking control even when you feel like you don’t have any — maybe, especially when you don’t. It’s about saying I won’t give up; I will use every resource available for success. When we ask for help from others, we tap into their knowledge, skills, and experience. And when that guidance proves useful, we, in turn, gain the confidence of knowing we are capable.
So why are so many of us often hesitant to ask for help from a tutor, therapist, coach, trainer, friend, or other types of support? There are many reasons: We don’t want to feel vulnerable or inferior. We fear being rejected. Maybe we don’t want to inconvenience someone else. But here’s the thing: dozens of studies have shown that people want to help and that asking for guidance strengthens relationships. A recent study published in the journal Psychological Science last year showed that people consistently underestimate how willing friends and strangers are to assist and how good the helpers feel afterward. Throughout my years in business, I’ve had many entrepreneurs ask me for help. Even though I didn’t always have all the answers, I was always happy to share some wisdom because I believe that asking for help is a powerful tool, whether in business or life. There’s no shame; we’ve all been there (or will be).
When we do ask for help, it's often when we’ve hit an impasse or crisis. But there are also occasions when reaching out for help can be useful before staring down an obstacle, especially when you have the luxury of knowing ahead of time that a certain task or journey might be particularly challenging. I never climb mountains without an experienced guide for this reason. A guide will have more knowledge about the conditions and routes than I will, and they will also know far better than I when to push through certain moments and when to pull back. If you know a change is imminent in your personal or professional life or sense a cultural shift away from a person, place, life stage, or community that has grounded you, pay attention to that sensation. And try activating your network now. Getting help when it's urgent is non-negotiable, but leaning into whatever support system you have ahead of a big transition or milestone can set you up for even more success.
Within 10 minutes of getting home from the hardware store, my son had installed the shelf. It looks great, works well, and is a constant reminder of a valuable lesson: There is always power in asking for help.